Insecure
by spockandawe
Summary: Bolin sometimes worries that he's not strong enough to deserve Korra.


Anonymous asked you: Going off the last fic (which was awesome btw), would you mind doing one where Bolin's worried he's not strong/manly enough for Korra (then Korra adorably making him feel better, of course)

As you wish! Awww, I love stories about insecurities and comforting and the like. This was fun! I can't believe I'd missed this angle in my stories up until now.

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Korra always looked so happy when she was bending. Sometimes it was almost frightening to see what she could do with hardly a thought. It was the kind of bending power that hadn't been seen - well, since the last Avatar. She was nothing like the stories Bolin had heard about Avatar Aang, though. He'd been a reserved, calm man with a quiet strength that was so different from Korra's. She was powerful, knew just how powerful she was, and had no patience for those who couldn't keep up with her. She wasn't perfect, but she was captivating.

He'd been able to see that there was something special about her from the start. Even from across a room and at a time when he shouldn't have been focusing on anything but the match, there had been something about her. Finding out that she was the Avatar had been intimidating of course, but he'd jumped at the opportunity for him to teach her, the _Avatar_, something about earthbending. He hadn't quite seen it at the time, but the idea that he had something to offer her had been what gave him the first real hope of success.

Korra had outstripped him so quickly he'd hardly realized it. She was the Avatar, of course. Bending was her everything, and for him it was nothing more that his job. She lived and breathed bending, and he just used it to make enough money to live on. It shouldn't have bothered him so much. There would always be someone out there who was better than you. There were even benders strong enough to give the Avatar trouble. And of course he'd never be better than she was. But it hurt to see himself falling further and further behind her. Bolin had worried and worried and trained in every spare moment, looking to push his limits that little bit more.

Of course she'd noticed that there were fewer chances to kiss and cuddle and pass time doing nothing but waste hours with each other. He made weak excuses about the upcoming pro-bending matches and hoped that he'd be able to close that gap between them, even just a little. He couldn't shake the idea that someday she'd decide she was wasting her time on him. She'd move on and find someone strong enough to deserve the Avatar. He knew it was stupid and he knew that if what she felt for him was real she'd never do anything of the sort, but every time he saw her bending and had to admit to himself that his skill would never approach hers, that old twisting fear came creeping back.

It was too early to be up, but there was perhaps an hour or two before the team had to meet at the gym. That was long enough for a good, hard training session. Bolin thought he'd managed to slip out of bed without disturbing Korra, but the moment he took a step, the floor creaked under his feet.

Korra rolled over and blinked up at him. "Bolin, where are you going? Come back to bed"

"Training," he said brightly. "You can always improve, right? Especially with the tournament coming up-"

"That isn't for another month. And before that it was the Eel Hound match. And before that it was the Komodo Rhinos. You know I hate waking up when you're already gone."

He bent down to kiss her cheek. "You're up now, aren't you? Don't worry, we'll see each other for dinner and then we can relax all evening."

"Maybe, if you don't lose track of time and let your afternoon training run long. _Again_." She sat up and frowned at him. "That's all you ever do anymore. Train."

"I am a professional athlete, you know. I can't afford to let anything slip."

"You used to make time for me. You said we could spend as much time as possible together and you'd just work extra hard when you had to be gone." Korra looked down and when she spoke again, she sounded less assured than before. "Is it- Do you not... _want_ to spend time with me?"

"What? Korra, no, no! I'd like it best if neither of us had jobs and we could just lie around together the whole day-"

"Then why are you always gone when you don't have to be? Your team was doing fine even before you started these extra training sessions."

"Just- Korra, I need to be stronger, okay? Once I'm stronger, things can go back to normal."

"But _why?_"

"Oh, you know how it is. Being strong is important, you know."

She edged forward, looking straight into his eyes. "You're already a great bender. What's this really about?"

Bolin put on his most charming smile. "It's just about self-improvement. Even the best fighters can always get better and I can see areas where I definitely need work. Even if there were five of me I'd never stand a chance against one of you in a fight." He inched toward the closet. "Listen, I'll be sure not to be late to dinner and then we can spend the whole rest of the evening by ourselves-"

"Hold it. When you start grinning like that I know that something's up. Bolin, does it bother you that I win when we're sparring?"

"No, of course not-"

"Is that why you want to get stronger?"

"No, no, that would just be silly-"

"_Bolin_. What's going on here?"

"Just- It's just- You're strong aren't you? And you deserve someone strong. And, I mean, just look at me. I can hardly keep up with you anymore. I know I can get better and of course you're the best bender in the world, but I want to be good enough to deserve you and if I can just get a little better-"

"Oh, Bolin." He stopped where he was, one hand on the closet door with his back to her. It sounded even worse out loud, and now Korra knew exactly how petty he was being. "Hey." He couldn't bring himself to talk. He couldn't even turn to face her. "Hey, Bolin, come over here."

Those steps weren't easy, but he took them. Once he reached the edge of the bed, he stopped. He managed to meet her eyes for a short moment, then looked down again. Korra flipped back the edge of the blankets. "Get back under here. It's much colder without you." Even under the sheets, Bolin stayed back at the very edge of the bed. Finally, Korra grabbed his shirt and tugged him forward so they were lying face to face.

She sighed. "Okay, listen. You know I'm not good with words, but I'm going to do my best for you. This sounds like you're worried that _I_ want _you_ to be stronger?" He mutely nodded. "That's definitely not how it is. Not at all." She paused. "I... can see why you might think that. And I do admit that if you hadn't been a bender, a _good_ bender, I might not have noticed you at first. But Bolin, you've got to see that I'm with you for a lot more reasons than that."

He mumbled something incoherent, but she pressed on. "I know you now, probably better than I know anyone else, are there are _so many ways_ you make me happy. There isn't anyone who can make me laugh the way you do, and you're the only person I can talk to _everything_ about. Even when I'm in a bad mood, you're always patient with me." She paused and smiled. "And you're always willing to spar, even if I do win all the time." He laughed weakly as she continued. "I mean, it's not perfect, and maybe I'd like it if you were a little better at putting things away, but I'd rather have you around the house leaving messes than have you always be gone for training. If I didn't think you deserved me the way you are, I wouldn't be here."

"I guess so-"

"Nope. I need something more solid than 'I guess so.' Do you believe me?"

"Sure, then. I believe you."

"Good. Now you just have to prove it."

"Oh?" Bolin reached out under the sheets for her hand. "How would you like me to do that?"

"Nothing much. I'll just need you to stay right here with me until you absolutely _have_ to leave."

"I think I can manage that. I should have at least two hours. More if I run to the gym instead of walking."

"Mmm. It's much nicer lying in bed when there's someone to do it with you."

He pulled her closer and leaned in to whisper, "Oh, I don't think we don't _only_ have to lie in bed. Two hours is a lot of time."

She put her arms around his neck. "I like the sound of that."


End file.
